The Cost of Applause

The sound was deafening, it was a sound unlike any other. It was a sound people live for. It was a sound that fueled me. It was the sound of a roaring crowd. Cheering for… well, me. It was my senior year of football. As the announcer announced my name, the crowd went wild as I ran out of the tunnel. And as I stood there under the bright lights, and looking upon a crowd cheering my name, I felt on top of the world. A feeling I always wanted to feel, and a feeling I would begin to chase everyday.

I realized I always wanted to feel on top of the world, which means I needed peoples constant praise and approval. As I grew up and graduated high school, I went straight into ministry. I had always felt the call of God on my life to be in ministry and building church’s. This one day as I was an intern for a church, the children’s pastor came up to me and wanted me to join his ministry as his intern. He told me he would disciple me and grow the gift that God put on the inside of me. He promised he would have me on stage in front of hundreds of kids every week. And I thought to myself, the stage is where I want to be. So I prayed about it, and decided to join children’s ministry. And I began to be trained in my gifting and calling. But, all the while it fed my need for applause and validation.

They call it the darkroom. Back in the day, they used darkrooms when preparing photos. They used certain chemicals to help the photo come out the way it is supposed to. However, if exposed to light too early it would ruin the entire photo. So photographers had to be very careful when to allow light and when to not. It was a strenuous and patient process, there was nothing instant about it. The world we live in today is all about fast and instant. Fast food, fast cars, instant upload. We live in an impatient culture. It is so far from how God operates. Because God knows us to our very core, he knows every hair on our head. Which means I’d go as far as to guess he knows what the spotlight would do to us if exposed to it too early

like one of the photos. Because God knows the cost of Applause…

The question I believe God has so many times presented me and I believe is presenting this generation more than any other, is Will you stay?

It’s a David in the field approach. When you’re not getting the applause, when you’re not getting the accolades, when you’re not getting the fame, when you’re not getting the credit, when you’re not seen… Will you stay? God is a God of the harvest, and he wants to bring harvest to our life. But God for whatever reason takes us through Barren seasons. Your dream, your influence, your calling, your fruit, all look very barren. And I believe he takes us through those seasons to see if we will simply stay, and continue to trust in him and continue to glorify him. When David was anointed at 15 to be the next king of Israel, he went straight back to a barren field to take care of sheep. I am positive in that fifteen year gap between anointing and appointing, David had moments of frustration. I’m sure David had moments he wanted to quit, and throw in the towel. Because he knew there was greatness on the inside of him, but yet he was waking up everyday in a barren field to take care of sheep. However God knew where he needed to get David. He knew what he needed to grow inside of David so that one day he could run a nation. If David would have stepped into being a King at 15, he would have messed it up royally!

So why does God use barren fields? I truly believe God has taken me through seasons of drought and barrenness and where he is silent, to see how I respond? Will I cave? Will I give in? Will I take the easy road? Will I compromise my calling? Will I quit?

He uses those seasons to see if we’ll dive deeper into intimacy with him. What do you do when you don’t hear the voice of God? Do you give in, or do you seek more? I truly believe the teacher is always silent during the test. When you don’t feel or hear God, are you digging deeper? God wants to see a generation that longs for his voice and direction. In a world where we get instant satisfaction and instant results, God is the God of process. And he is the God of the true harvest. When we don’t get the answer, the accolade, the promotion, the applause, will we stay faithful to the process?

So living where I have gotten the promotions and have gotten the applause, I now know that I don’t want it if my heart is in the wrong place. Because nothing will humble you more than being demoted because you’re character wasn’t where it needed to be, because you didn’t allow God to do the work in the field. I am more committed to the process than I’ve ever been, and know the importance of process. I now know the weight and the cost of applause.